Big community funding update! I want to marry your daughter October 24, 6: I have met her parents and we get along extremely well. The problem is that I would like to ask her father for his blessing but he is miles from me and I most likely will not see him for a while. What is the classiest way to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage without doing it face-to-face? The classiest way might be to fly out to where he is to ask. The second classiest way, I think, would be the telephone.
Good luck either way!
A hand-written note telling him how great his daughter is and how you will take care of her for the rest of her life. Follow-up with a phone call. My fiancee asked my mother for her permission over the phone because he couldn't make the trip. I would say that it's not a matter of some elaborate scheme to ask him, but rather a sincere and genuine request on your part. Think of exactly what you are going to say before you get on the phone and you should be fine.
Best of luck and congratulations! Does he use MSN Messenger? I think a phone call is definitly the right thing to do. What about a YouTube post? Nah, a sincere phone call sounds your best bet. Ohh, if you are going all out. I'd say hand-written letter on good paper. Follow up with a phone call.
Well - I do like the idea of a handwritten note. Seems sweet somehow - and you guys will have it forever and can include it in the wedding mementos.
No advice, other than be sure that the "asking permission" thing is cool with both of them. If Mr Dynagirl had asked my dad for "my hand" or whatever, we'd both have suddenly had doubts about him, as I was not my father's property to give. A hand-written, heart-felt letter is still a good idea, regardless. Classy and old school.
Unless your potential missus is 19 and living at home, then mimi's on the right track: Asking Dad's permission to marry his adult, independent daughter is creepy.
He just called on a weekend when he was pretty sure my dad would be able to talk. If you wouldn't be panicking while it was in the mail, it might be a nice option for you. If you call, try to call him on a landline. It depends on their family structure. In my social circle, it's not so much literally asking the dad for her hand in marriage, but rather more a matter of formality and Letter to father asking permission to marry daughter.
I would do the hand-written letter. Personally, I would go with a "real letter" and not an informal "note".
It used to
Letter to father asking permission to marry daughter that travel and telephone were often not possible, and it was not uncommon for this kind of thing to be done by letter.
I would perhaps do some research by reading some classic literature written when this was still the way things were 19th Century stuff ; you may be able to find some great examples to inspire you. One of my sister's fiances, a rather traditional fellow, asked our parents for their blessing; it kind weirded everyone out. And eventually my sister broke of the engagement, but for other reasons. Make sure your fiancee and her parents are into the whole asking Dad for his permission thing.
Find some lovely stationery just for the occasion -- go to the best stationery store you can find, or order it online from somewhere even better. And this would be a fabulous question for Miss Manners. If you decide that sending a handwritten note followed by a call won't work for you, perhaps you could call to actually ask for his blessing, then send him a note after you talk. That way you could still have the classiness of a handwritten note, with the relief of a phone call.
I don't really know what you would write in it though, which is why I'm glad I didn't do the asking. I sort of think that it's become less "asking permission" and more "showing respect to family". Agreed with a few - I find it hella creepy.
Make sure it's appropriate before you plunge in. I think calling would be sufficient and you might ask for his blessing instead of his permission. Agree with the ones who say it's kind of creepy. Let me add that I would have found it infantilizing, and would have been pretty upset.
Make sure you think it would be ok with her. By the way, you may want to include her mother in this to make it seem less like you think baby is daddy's property. He's not asking whether it's appropriate. He's asking how to do it. He's met the parents and knows this girl, so he probably knows whether it's creepy or not. I'd call the father.
And all we said was make sure, because a lot of people find it weird in this day and age. HE showed a desire to ask, Letter to father asking permission to marry daughter didn't mention whether his girlfriend or the family would want it - it's an appropriate caution. But thanks, sweetkid, for your concern. I don't think asking for the father's blessing is creepy at all. Folks, he's not asking permission.
I Nth the nicely-written letter. Include your phone number unless you're certain he has it so he can get back to you when it's convenient for him. My husband wrote a similar letter to my parents both parents, not just my dadand my mother cherishes that letter. I would like to ask her father for his blessing If you address it only to the father, then no matter what words you use, you will be asking for permission.
Creepy, transferal of ownership, permission.
"Letter to father asking permission to marry daughter" Proposing is nerve-racking anyway; getting this wrong will make it even worse. If it's asking for a blessing that you're talking about then I think you should write to both parents AFTER you've proposed and she's said yes.
If it's really important to you to have that then I don't see why it can't be after the fact. I would certainly hope it would not be taken literally - that would be obscene. The "showing respect" thing is merely creepy. It gives greater importance to the institution and familial structure than to the individual human being you want to share your life with. Announcing the engagement to the family is a chance to celebrate the connection to the family; going to the family before you've actually popped the question seems like a subtle dismissal of the agency of the woman and just feels a little weird, especially given the tradition it symbolizes.
I must second what ob said.
Ask the parents for their blessing after you've posed the question to her and she's responded favorably. For this, I think it would be perfect for both of you to fly out there and jointly ask for their blessing.
Do the same with your parents if you want. I would have been highly irritated if someone asked my parents for either permission or their
Letter to father asking permission to marry daughter before asking me if I even wanted to get married.
Even if you know in your heart she'll say yes, it is her decision to make, regardless of what her parents have to Letter to father asking permission to marry daughter about it. Thirding ob and lyndaand adding that traditional etiquette backs them up.
It's not some new-fangled modern-women idea to ask for a blessing after; traditionally, talking to the father should occur after your fiancee has agreed to be your fiancee.
And there was at least one other AskMe thread about this with proper etiquette guides cited, but I'm too lazy to look them up again. If I'm remembering correctly, we're talking the s original Emily Post guide, not even the newer ones. Also, if you get their blessing and Rachel says "Not yet," you've also made the situation pretty awkward. Fourthing ob, lynda, occhiblu Sorry, I should have been more careful with my words.
Firstly, I would not be asking for permission. I am not even really asking, I am telling. I am not looking for an answer from him. This is nothing more than showing respect to her father in a old-school type of way. She has intimated to me that that would be a good thing to do. As far as the sequence of events goes, I guess I never thought about asking her "Letter to father asking permission to marry daughter." But as an aside, I would never have thought the word 'creepy' would come into the conversation.
If I would have asked how many goats I needed to give him in order to marry his daughter, then I would expect 'creepy'. If I haven't performed enough 'due diligence' to know exactly if Rachel wants to get married, and wants to marry me, and then ask her out of the blue, I should be beaten with the Stupid-Stick until I am proclaimed 'The Stupidest' on the Planet Stupid.
If her mother or father can't keep it secret for a few days, ask them a couple of days before you plan to propose to Rachel. Asking Dad's permission to marry his adult, independent daughter is . And you' ll find that saying this to him, in such a remarkable letter as. what if you write it all in English. and somebody can translates it to her parents, You need to start with greetings and then ask simply that I need your kind. A letter written by a man 72 years ago, who was asking his future wife's parents' had written to her parents asking for their permission to marry Loloma.
'Your youngest daughter, Loloma, has captivated my heart to such an.